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How to be a full time Tech Blogger

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Today I'm proudly introducing the first ever guest posting on this blog.
It's my good friend @zeursteffest!
His motto is "I'm whining about it so you don't have to"
I got to know him after @inferis pointed me in the right direction.
Normally I don't like negative people all that much but it became clear that he had some refreshing insights to share.
So without further due - @zeursteffest: the keyboard is yours.

Thank you @steffest for the opportunity.
So, I've noticed you don't blog all that often and I've decided to help you out a bit.
Your blog is crap - it's rubbish - It's going nowhere - so here are some tips.

First: where are the ads, man? How do you expect to get some ROI without advertisement? For Pete's sake, put some Google adwords between your posts, that's basic stuff!

Second: start hyping up your posts: start using words like boobs and sex and free beer and babes and nude cars and stuff, don't you know anything about SEO?

Third: I've read every single technology and gadget blog the last 2 weeks and made a detailed analysis of how things work around the scene. I've written a bling book about it, but I'm giving - that's right: GIVING you this wicked sick flowchart FOR FREE so even you get to be a full time Tech Blogger. (Once you put some ads on here, that is)
Don't thank me now, thank me when you ... err ... well, just don't and get your act together.